A Blog Post You Can't Refuse
No, I haven't been on strike in solidarity with the Writers Guild. I've been in Sicily undercover to try to learn more after police discovered the secret Mafia code of conduct upon arresting a top mob Godfather. In case you haven't seen them, the Ten Mafiosi Commandments are:
No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.
Never look at the wives of friends.
Never be seen with cops.
Don't go to pubs and clubs.
Always be available for Cosa Nostra, even if your wife's about to give birth.
Appointments must be respected.
Wives must be treated with respect.
When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.
Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.
People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra are anyone with a close relative in the police, with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.
You may not know this, but the Mafia has an extensive (and top secret) social marketing department. And now, after weeks of living under omertà in fear of being exposed (they thought I was just a hitman with poor aim*), I can finally reveal the Marketori Sociali Ten Commandments:
Do not only promote your product directly to your target audience. A third-party endorsement through word-of-mouth -- especially if it is a personal friend -- is much more effective.
Never look at the wives of friends, unless they are the ones who are more influential in the family health and social behavior decisions.
Never be seen with cops, unless you decide that the behaviors you are promoting are better addressed through policy and enforcement.
Don't go to pubs and clubs without market research that demonstrates that those locations are the best places to reach your audience with your message.
Always be available to create an environment in your casa that will facilitate behaviors like breastfeeding and putting baby to sleep on his back after your wife gives birth.
Your product must be available in the right time and right place to the right people to get any respect.
Wives must be treated with respect. The customer is not a moron - she is your wife.
When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth. Astroturfi and marionetti di calzini are not part of the family business.
Money cannot always be appropriated in exchange for adopting the product. Sometimes the price will be time, hassle, social disapproval or leaving old habits like offing people.
People who can't be part of the Marketori Sociali are anyone who does not understand the audience like a close relative, who does not make an offer they can't refuse, who does not focus on how they want people to behave, or who assumes that the values of the people they are trying to reach are exactly the same as their own.
Now that I've revealed these secrets, I'm going to have to lay low for a while. I'm hoping I won't find an unexpected surprise on my pillow in the morning.
*Disclaimer: I have not, nor would I ever, take out a contract on another human being nor endorse the whacking thereof.
Photo Credit: liliumjoker
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